Call me a simp – Dr. James Emery White’s Christian Blog


There is a new word that is being used as slang. Men who are “too nice” to women are called “simps”.

It comes from the word silly. Initially, it was used to make fun of men who flattered women into sleeping with them. Now it is used for any man who treats a woman with kindness and respect.

If a man compliments a woman, opens the door for her, gives up a seat on a crowded bus, buys her a night taxi instead of trying to take advantage of it, buys flowers… he’s a simp.

You might find it harmless. I do not. I agree with author Destin Gerek: “When we ‘simp’ shame, it sends a message to men that caring about the fate or well-being of women is not a ‘manly’ thing to do. “, he says. “But it should be the exact opposite; not caring is the ‘manly’ thing.

It becomes darker. When we look down on men who are kind, sensitive, or protective of women, it simultaneously elevates traits like dominance, aggression, and even abusiveness.

Sure, I can hear some men’s frustration. They fear what has sometimes been called “benevolent sexism”. This is when a woman can feel offended because you opened the door. You are afraid to hear: “I can open the door by myself, thank you. Some men genuinely fear that acts of chivalry will be seen as declarations of superiority.


As for me, I will continue to open doors and give way. I will continue to buy flowers for my wife. I will continue to treat my daughters and granddaughters like the princesses they are.

Not because women are inferior to men. It’s because in my economy, they’re simply worthy of honor. So go ahead…call me a simp.

I will wear it with pride.

James Emery White


Jenna Ryu, “Men who are ‘too nice’ to women are called ‘Sims.’ Why this insult is problematic”, USA todayDecember 28, 2021, read online.

About the Author

James Emery White is the founder and senior pastor of Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, North Carolina, and the assistant professor of theology and culture at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he also served as their fourth president. His last book After “I believe” is now available on Amazon or at your favorite bookstore. To take advantage of a free subscription to the Church & Culture blog, visit, where you can view past blogs in our archive and read the latest church and culture news from around the world. Follow Dr. White on TwitterFacebook and Instagram @JamesEmeryWhite.

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