Blog: I don’t like to cook (3/12/21)
I don’t like to cook. It’s like that.
The irony is that some people think I am a great cook. At gatherings, I have a cheesecake that brings oohs and aahs. What they don’t know is that every place I have to bring a dish, I make cheesecake. I repair it from the instructions printed on the back of the box. And talk about my cooking. It might not be pretty. You can look around and see the restaurant’s deli containers from week to week. My niece will soon be moving into her new apartment. I’ll give her some ready-made cheesecake mixes and a list of must-have items in the kitchen.
1. Microwave: Why should you take out a pot and boil it when you can just empty it? The inside of my microwave has seen it all from peanut butter to play dough.
2. Toaster: to heat the few things the microwave cannot heat.
3. Coffee maker: Contrary to what you learned in school; caffeine IS in the food pyramid.
4. Can opener: How else can you open canned spaghetti or chili?
5. Blender: to impress friends when they come to your house. Simple instructions can whip up margaritas or daiquiris.
6. Telephone: To order take out. Mine is wireless which helps me when looking for discount coupons.
7. Cookie Jar: Empty that bag of Oreos or Pecan Sandies into this one as soon as you get home from the store. In a few days it will be empty.
8. Corkscrew: Even if you never buy a bottle of wine. It will impress your friends. In addition, your Aunt Janice could bring you a bottle of wine. She made me and I was lost.
9. Fire extinguisher: If you ever decide to cook anything other than cheesecake, the result could be inflammatory. Remember, not all of us can be Betty Crocker.
We don’t want to be either.
Nancee Harrison is a former columnist for Greene County Daily World. Visit www.blondeladywithdarkroots.com or email her at firstname.lastname@example.org or send your comments to Nancee, Daily World, box 129 Linton IN 47441.